Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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