Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
