So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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