You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize