i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
