Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
