Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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