i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize