I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
