okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
