Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
