the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
