he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I love having hate sex.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
