I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
