The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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