Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've blown a few things in my day
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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