apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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