I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
