Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
