don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
