i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The air taste purple.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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