Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he had hair everywhere except his balls
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
