i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
