I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
