I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
