Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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