She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
