Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
