I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
