He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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