You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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