dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and she was petting her beer can
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
