Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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