We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
