so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish you could order shots online.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
