Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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