worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
