That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
