you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
