New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
