how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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