Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
