well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you made out with another girl for some wings
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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