she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
