if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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