He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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