i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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