He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
