oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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