well I can't set my house on fire every night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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