For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
