gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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