Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Never joke about your clitoris.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
