In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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