Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
