I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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