wanna go halves on a baby?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
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i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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