he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
