That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
