your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize