quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
